2006 02/06

The eternal question…

Tim asked me the other day if I wanted to have more children.  I go back and forth.  I’m not sure if I want to go back to sleepless nights and experience another horrible deliver (not to say that it would happen that way again).  I also love Abbi so much that I’m not sure I could love another child this much.  On the other hand, I grew up with siblings and wouldn’t have traded that for the world.  I would love for Abbi to have a little sister or little brother to torment.  There are some days I wouldn’t mind having another baby around — I mean not right now, eventually though.  Maybe after Abbi is a few years old, then we’ll have another one.  I don’t know.  I’m also struggling with loosing the baby weight and, if I do every loose it, I’m not sure I want to go back and fight this battle again.  I never knew that loosing this weight would be so tough.  It’s very depressing.  I’ve always had a bit of a food addiction.  I struggled during high school and slipped into an eating disorder.  I really don’t want to find myself in that place again.

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