2006 20/07

I do exist

Last night I actually went out by myself!  Quick, make all the “Oh she’s so pathetic” comments you need to….done?  Good.  So, after the Pookes was in bed and Tim got home from a meeting, I went to Barnes & Nobel to pick up a few books — ALL BY MYSELF!  I really can’t recollect when the last time was that I went out by myself for something other than a doctor’s appointment (and even then, I usually bring the Pookes with me).  I must say, I happened to enjoy it!

It was quite something to shop without constantly picking up toys that the Pookes tosses to the ground, trying to decipher jibber-jabber, or cut my shopping short because it’s time for a bottle or she’s getting tired or fussy or antsy.  Mostly though, it was odd to have other adults engaging in conversation with me.  Just me.  Not asking me how old she is, saying how cute she is, poking at her chubby little cheeks.  Now, don’t get me wrong, I enjoy watching the Pookes interact with people.  She’s such a people person.  But to have people talk to me as an adult, about adult stuff, in an adult voice….it was liberating, invigorating, super!  I mean, for that half hour I was more than just a mom out shopping with her baby, I was Stacey….I was an adult…I was a person!

Like I said, I know it sounds pathetic but my identity has changed so much over the past 7 months and it was a nice change to just be Stacey again.  A 27 year old chica who was out shopping for a good book.  Yup, that crazy & exciting world of Barnes & Noble — it can make a girl feel so young, foolish, and wild!

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