2008 23/04

Not my finest moment

So, the chances of me winning “Mother of the Year” anytime soon is pretty much laughable! The combination of adjusting hormones, lack of sleep, and nonexistent nutrition leaves me cranky and short-tempered most days. My worst time is during those late night/early morning feedings. I know you’re probably saying, “treasure those feedings and that time with your baby, they will be gone before you know it.” Thanks but it’s a bit difficult for me to feel all mushy-mushy and loving when I was just up at 3:45am to feed her, didn’t get her back down in bed until 4:30am, and now she is fussing again at 5:30am. By the time I get her settled down again and back to bed it is 6:30am and her sister is waking up. Sorry, I find it hard to treasure this time. I would, however, treasure some sleep at this time!

I do wish that I was better at masking my frustration during this time. I tend to be quite vocal about how I really just want Zoe to go back to sleep, which Tim hears and then that causes him to worry that I’m not getting enough rest. Why does it always seem that he calls or sees me just at the times where I’m frustrated or over-tired? I wish he could see me when I push past that tiredness and am out in the yard playing soccer with Abbi or cuddling on the couch with Abbi while I feed Zoe. Then maybe he wouldn’t worry so much. I keep reminding myself that it has only been two weeks and everyone is still adjusting around here. Things will get easier as Zoe settles into a schedule and these freaking postpartum hormones return to normal. Hang in there family!

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