2008 19/05

Mother’s Day….a little late

Yes, I realize that Mother’s Day was eight days ago. That should tell you how much free time I have these days. But I really wanted to post this so here it is, just a little later than I had hoped.

Mother’s Day sucked this year. Sucked. In so many ways. On so many levels. My only hope is that next year’s will go better. Because the day sucked so badly I did not take the opportunity to call all the “moms” in my life and send them my love. I did however call my mom and wished her a happy MD. My mom is the greatest. She would literally cut off all of her limbs to help one of her children. Nice image, I know, but is the truth. She is a giver. Motherhood to her means sacrifice.

So that got me thinking, what does motherhood mean to me? I know I’m still “new” to this whole mom thing, but this is what motherhood means to me. In this moment. At this time.

It means:
not taking a shower, for the third day in a row, so we can go to the park instead
skipping breakfast and lunch so I can get both girls fed and baby bottles washed
sacrificing all control over the situation and giving up most of the things we used to do pre-kids in order to have well-rested, happy, healthy girls
not going out every weekend because I’d rather be home with the family
watching Backyardigans or Sesame Street with Abbi because she wants to cuddle with me, when I really want to watch The View or anything that doesn’t sing songs all the time
listening to, singing along with, and dancing to Veggie Tales for the 10th time in a row
laughing uncontrollably at the off-the-wall stuff Abbi comes up with or when she has in-depth conversations with someone on her phone
feeling very proud when Abbi signs the colors or counts to 30 or when she takes the initiative to make friends at the playground
wanting Abbi to “act like a big girl” but wanting her to slow down and stay my little girl forever
snuggling in bed with both my girls, watching cartoons, and drifting off to sleep
needing a break, admitting that I need a break, and asking for help when I need that break
feeling a sense of peace as Zoe nuzzles her fuzzy infant head into my neck as she drifts off to sleep

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