2009 19/02

Fizzle, fizzle — the sound of a coward

This is something Tim and I were talking about this weekend and then a similar subject was brought up on Momversation this week — friendships. Do you have friendships that you have either ended because of one reason or another or friendships that you are just letting fizzle out? I don’t have any that I have had to end or friends that I’ve broken-up with but we do have friendships that are just fizzling out….mostly because we are willingly and knowingly letting them. And I don’t know how to feel about it…

Mostly these are friends of ours who we just don’t have much in common with anymore. We used to, I think, but things have just changed over the years. Don’t get me wrong, we still have friends who we don’t see that often but still connect with and have a great time with when we do finally see them. And we have friends that we see all the time and love them dearly. So, if you are one of our friends and you are reading this, I’m not talking about you! Ok, let’s move on.

What do you do when you can no longer find any common ground with a friend besides your past? I mean, you can only get together and talk about the past so many times before you realize that you really have nothing to offer each other. And then you realize that your lives could not be more different. You really don’t agree on anything — politics, religion, family, etc. What do you do? Do you continue on with this friendship, knowing that it is so superficial and feel like it is a waste of time (was that too harsh?) or do you cut your ties and move on? I guess that constitute as “breaking up” then.

I think Tim and I have pretty much come to the conclusion that we’re just not going to put the effort into that friendship any longer. Again, don’t get me wrong. I know friendships take work and time but I guess I’d rather spend that time and energy on a friendship that I actually enjoy, rather than one out of duty. So, do we just let the friendship fizzle and drift apart or do we tell these people why we no longer want to be friends? I’m leaning much more towards the fizzle. I’m kind of a coward like that. Really, I just don’t want things to be awkward when/if we do see them again. Fully aware that I’m taking the easy way out here people.

Was that all vague enough for you? I’d love to be more specific but, again, taking the cowards way out here. I’d really love to be bold and just say, “hey you, I really just don’t like………bye!” Maybe some day. Maybe during my next pregnancy because I do become ‘super bold, say what’s on my mind’ girl during pregnancy! So, I’m going to turn this on to you now.

Have you ever broken up with a friend or let a friendship fizzle out on purpose? I’d love to hear what you did and how it worked.

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