2009 11/08

The Bikini Contest

No, I did not participate in a bikini contest. I thought I should just clear that one up before we get started. However, we did see a bikini contest while we were at the Hometown festival this past weekend. I guess I should say that we saw a bikini contest of sorts.

The bikini contest took place at the beer & music tent. Emphasis on the beer. That is one of the highlights of the festival you know, the beer. That and the softball tournaments. But mostly people come for the beer. So this bikini contest included participants who may have been slightly intoxicated and a crowd of judges who were certainly drunk.

My parents were gracious enough to sit for the girls one night while we made our way down to the beer tent and, by chance, the bikini contest. I think there were a dozen or so contestants, 4 or 5 of which were guys.

Let’s talk about the guys first. The contest was not separated by gender. Everyone was in the one general contest. A contest of equals! However, the guys didn’t stand a chance when the contest was being judged by the crowd. A crowd predominately of drunk men. Surprisingly enough though a guy did make it into the top three — a three hundred pound many who had a colorful message sun-tanned onto his back.

Now the ladies. Regardless of what their actions may have said, I’m still going to call them ladies. Now, even though I would not have been parading in a bikini, even with some of their bodies, I do give them credit for being in the contest. It takes a very brave (or intoxicated) girl to parade around a tent full of hundreds of people in her teeny-tiny bikini. So, yay for you ladies.

Now, the problem I had was when these girls each waked out onto the stage and proceeded to do their stripper dance. Honestly, all they needed was a pole or for the guys to start throwing singles on the stage. It was kind of gross. However, they bent, they shook, they shimmied, they twirled, they rubbed, they flirted all in hopes of winning the most cheers and, in the end, the title and prizes.

Oh, good times. I really don’t know what else to say.

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