2010 12/10

Are you a gossip girl?

I know it’s been months since I’ve talked about the Happiness Project but, despite my lack of discussing it here, I am still doing it.  I’m still watching the videos and putting each month’s theme and each week’s focus into practice.  Ok, I’m trying to.

This month’s theme is Friendship.  Well, that one should be easy enough, right? I mean, I have friends.  Check that one off the list! I can rest easy for this month!  Obviously I was wrong.  Wait, that made it sound like I was wrong about having friends.  I do have friends….I was just wrong about this month not involving some work on the Happiness Project front.  Oh, let’s just talk about it!

Last week’s focus was “Make 3 New Friends“.  Gretchen talks about how good it is for us to enter new situations with the goal of making three new friends.  Now, that doesn’t mean that you will be life-long best friends with those three people.  It just means that you are making a conscious effort to try to connect to people.  This can be online or in-real-life connections (huge sigh from all you bloggers and social media lovers).  For me, this focus couldn’t have hit at a better week!  Last week I started attending the M&Ms class at our church.  Huge step out of my comfort zone but an excellent place to create new connections and friendships.  Awe, look at me branching out from my hermit lifestyle!

Now this week’s focus is a little more “slap in the face” — “Stop Gossiping“.  Ummm, ouch Gretchen!  Nothing like going after the jugular!  Really, I’m not a huge gossiper but I’m well aware that I do gossip.  More than I should.  I’m not trying to be snotty about it.  I think it stems more from my jealousy of those other people.  I use gossip as a way to make those other people look less than perfect, by pointing out what I see as their flaws, in hopes of making my own flaws look less noticeable.  Maybe that’s why we all gossip — to somehow boost ourselves up?  Regardless, I’m going to take Gretchen’s challenge this week and stop gossiping.  Her thought is that when we gossip about others we begin to judge them and then we start thinking about how others are judging us.  By refraining from gossip, we refrain from thinking about how others are judging us, thus resulting in happiness.

I know that people aren’t going to just start admitting to their gossiping here in the comments but I’d love to hear from you guys! What are your thoughts on gossip? Do you think that all gossip is bad? What are you doing this week to increase your happiness?


  • I find that the more I gossip or listen to gossip, the more I start noticing faults or quirks in other people that I wouldn’t otherwise. Things that normally it wouldn’t even occur to me to have an opinion about are suddenly glaring annoyances. I think it’s self-feeding.

  • Ah! How was M& Ms? I have considered giving it a shot this year myself – once we are home and back in routine- but have to admit it makes me very nervous…

  • I think I am awful about gossiping. I hate doing it too. Ok, and this will sound terrible, but I think some people in the church communities (at least ones I’ve been a part of) sometimes use “prayer requests” as ways to spread gossip. Almost as if they are justifying it. And I’m probably guilty of doing that as well. :-/

  • I would agree about what you said regarding churches and prayer groups. I think people often use “prayer requests” as a way to gossip without feeling guilty, unfortunately.

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