2011 22/01

Stupid Things People Say – Pregnancy Edition

Do you remember Jeff Foxworthy and his “Here’s Your Sign” comedy bit?  He would generally make fun of the seemingly stupid things people would say, do, or wear, wanting to give them a virtual sign announcing that stupidity.  I think it became such a popular bit because, honestly, we’ve all been there.  We’ve all made the overly-obvious comment and then felt ridiculous after saying it, realizing what we’ve done.  We’ve all worn the sign.

But this one’s a little trickier.  Not everyone realizes that what they say to pregnant women can have that same sort of ridiculousness.  After all, if you’ve never been pregnant, you may not realize what it is you’re actually saying.  And, even for those who have been pregnant, sometimes we have a mental lapse and just regurgitate one of the many things that have been said to us before.  So here goes.  Here are the stupid things people will say to you while pregnant:

  1. Wow! You’re having a boy!  Now you guys can stop having kids, right?
    I love this one.  Because apparently there is some magical quota we must all fulfill in breeding.  Apparently, now that we have acquired (or will be shortly) children from both genders, now there’s no need to have more kids.  Truth be told, whether this child was a boy or a girl, we were stopping.  It just so happens that this last one is a boy.
  2. Get as much sleep now, because when that baby comes…
    Ah, yes.  Did you know that you can bank up your sleep and then cash it it when you’re feeling particularly tired on a given day.  It’s like your own secret stash of instant caffeine, just without the inevitable energy crash. What?  You don’t believe me?  Well, apparently this is what a good number of people believe when it comes to pregnancy.  As if I have a choice to spend 9 months sleeping as much as possible so that when this baby does come and isn’t sleeping through the night for the next year, I can just survive off all that sleep I got during pregnancy.  Also, people neglect to realize that, while you’re pregnant, you tend to get up multiple times a night to pee.  And you have a thousand thoughts running through your head that want to inhibit that blessed sleep.  Thus why it is 5am on a Saturday and I’m sitting here writing this.
  3. When are you due because you look like you could go any time! or Are you sure there’s only one in there?
    Oh thank you.  I love it when people infer that I’m abnormally large. (Remember, pregnant women are emotionally sensitive.)  I also love it when they compare you to their sister/friend/neighbor who you could hardly tell she was even pregnant because she just carried it so well. Once again, thank you.  Let’s just set a ground rule…no matter how big a woman is while pregnant or how tiny she is, let’s just not comment on her size.  Politely ask her when she is due, tell her she looks great and all the best of luck in the coming days/weeks/months.  Easy as that.  Now, go ahead, practice.  Again.
  4. You’re planning on doing WHAT?  Good luck with that! In regards to how you are choosing to labor/deliver and/or bottle/breastfeed.
    I’m not sure why people even ask a pregnant woman about their plans for labor and delivery or how they are planning on feeding their baby after birth.  Really?  Do you really want to know?  Or are we just looking for a way to judge that woman.  Does it matter if a woman chooses to deliver her baby at home feeling every ounce of pain and joy or if she wants to head into the hospital on a scheduled date and take every measure to not feel pain.  Isn’t it the outcome that matters?  That each of those women (and those who choose anything and everything in between) have a birth experience they are happy with and come out of it with their new little baby?  Same is true with breastfeeding vs. bottle feeding.  I know there are benefits one way or another.  But isn’t the important thing that the baby is getting fed?
  5. Well, when you have a boy…
    Go ahead and fill in the rest of that sentence.  I’ve pretty much been told every possible difference there could ever be between a boy and a girl.  Did you know that boys have these things that dangle between their legs called penises?  I know!  Shocked me too!  And apparently they make those little boys do all sorts of crazy things, like jump off couches and roll around in the dirt!!!
    Seriously though, I understand that boys and girls are different.  I get that.  Just because I have two girls doesn’t mean that I’m oblivious to boys.  Also, have you spent any time with my girls?  They have energy.  A lot of it.  So much that I would dare say it could rival the energy of some boys.  I know having a baby boy will be different.  I know that raising a boy will be different.  But that doesn’t mean that it’s going to be somehow better or worse.  It’s just different.  Every gender has it’s obstacles.  Geesh!  Just looking at Abbi and Zoe, they are such different children.  They were extremely different as babies.  Every child needs to be parented in their own way and every child has obstacles.  I’m pretty sure, penis or no penis, we’ll survive this baby.

So, I’m pretty sure, after writing all of that, that I’m the one that needs the sign.  People are going to say stupid things.  It’s in our nature.  I could probably come up with a list of Stupid Things People Say – Newborn Edition!  Hmmm….

Yes, I am going to make myself a sign that I can hang around my neck for the next few weeks that says…

Caution Pregnant Sign

3 Comments

  • OK – I’m literally laughing out loud! I just had a beautiful baby boy 8 weeks ago (my second), and, yes…I heard all of the above! I’m ready to cash in all that extra sleep I got too :)
    Best Wishes on your delivery !

  • Hilarious Stacey! Unfortunately my favorite is “You’re pregant? You don’t even LOOK pregnant (at even 6+ months preggos)!” Wow peeps…really?

  • Ha! I never got that one! I’m pretty sure mine was opposite — “Are you SURE you’re only 6 months pregnant because you look a lot bigger than that!”

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