2011 09/12

When did we become so heartless?

I’m sure you’ve all probably heard the news by now about Michelle Duggar. If you haven’t, Michelle, the mom on the TLC show “19 Kids and Counting”, recently suffered a miscarriage.

Now, when the Duggars announced that they were pregnant with their 20th child, I expected the mixed response. I knew there would be people who were genuinely happy for them, people who could care less, and people who were appalled at the idea.  Honestly, I guess I didn’t understand how people could have such negative feelings toward the family and the fact that they were having another baby. 

Really? Another ONE? Don’t they have enough kids? Really people? Does it really matter to you how many kids this family has? They are not a burden on society. They are not living off the government, accepting government aid, or asking for handouts from the community. They are self-sufficient.  Even with 21 mouths to feed in that house, they make it work. On their own. Why do you care how many kids they have? But, whatever. I’m sure they really don’t care about others’ opinions on their procreation.

But then this happened. They lost the baby. A devastating loss. I have never experienced a miscarriage but I could not even begin to imagine the heartache and sorrow a woman must feel when that happens. My heart broke for that family.

And, stupid me, I thought more of our society. I thought, surely people aren’t going to be complete asses when this family is experiencing such pain. I was wrong. We, indeed, have some real asses that live among us.

Maybe they should take this as a sign that they shouldn’t have any more children!  — Really? Would you be so bold to say that to a woman who lost her first child? Her third child? Or is there an acceptable cut-off point in which a woman should stop having children because she lost a baby?

Consider this a sign that you’re too old to have more kids lady! — Yes, I understand that Michelle is 45 years old and that many consider that past child bearing years. But tell that to Jane Seymour (twins at age 44), Susan Sarandon (baby at age 46), Geena Davis (twins at age 48), and the many, many other women who have given birth well into their 40s. Times are a changin’!

She should feel lucky that she has so many other children! —  I have no doubt that Michelle and Jim Bob feel immensely blessed by their 19 other children. But that does not take the pain away from losing this one. And anyone who things otherwise needs to be kicked in the head. I would even dare to say that Michelle would tell you she feels blessed to have carried the baby as long as she did. But the pain is still there.

“It’s not sad. The sad part is they will try again.”

Ok people, where is your f***ing humanity? It makes me sick to my stomach that people would say such hurtful and ignorant things. It’s times like these that people need to save their self-righteous, I told you so attitudes and shut your mouths. What good is it doing by saying these things when this family is hurting? Does it make you feel better? When did we become so judgmental of others that we lost our sense of compassion?

Again, my heart goes out to the family. I hope, eventually, they can find peace and healing.


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