2012 21/06

Is being “fair” fair?

It’s one of my pet-peeves. Like nails on a chalkboard.

But MOM, it’s not FAIR!!!”

We go through this at least once a day. One of the girls decides something is just not fair and will begin chanting about how their life is so not fair. Oh the injustice! Then I get to spend the next hour (and other random times throughout the day) explaining how what they are crying about has nothing to with being fair or reminding them how fair their life really is. It’s exhausting. Really.

But then I find myself trying to make their lives “fair”. And I’m wondering if I’m actually being unfair. 

The girls are close enough in age and have been at the right age where they tend to like the same things. So, when I buy one something, I go ahead and buy two to keep things even keel. And prevent World War III.  For example, if I’m going to buy Abbi a new coloring book or maybe a workbook for the Summer, I make sure to buy Zoe one, too. Seems harmless, really.

The problem is that I am noticing a maturity difference between the two girls and, while Abbi might be ready for say an American Girl Doll, Zoe is not.

So, what do you do? Do you go ahead and get the older one the toy and not the younger one? Get one for both, knowing the younger one  isn’t quite ready for it? Or do you just not get it for either?

To be fair, they don’t always get the same things. I do purchase things for one and not the other and deal with the It’s Not Fair! fits.

I’m just wondering if I’m making things worse by trying to make things fair or if I need to bite the bullet and deal with the It’s Not Fair! fits.

What do you do? If you have kids close in age, do you buy everything in pairs? Or do you have a magical solution to the It’s Not Fair!

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One Comment

  • I don’t think it is a magical solution, but we talk a lot in our house about fair not being the same. In the spring, I came home with new pajamas for my older one and we talked about that he didn’t have any pajamas with shorts, so he needed them and my younger one didn’t need any jammies right now. About a week later, my younger one needed sandals so we had the same conversation again. We try to talk about sometimes one gets something and other times the other one gets something and it all works out in the end.
    We also started doing “kid of the day” with them. We alternate every day and whoever is kid of the day gets to have their stories read first, gets to pick a movie if we watch one, basically gets to go first and pick for the day. It solves A LOT of arguments about not being fair. :)

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