There was once a time where I would gladly stay up until midnight to watch the Oscars, but not lately. And definitely no this year. So, I just got caught up on what happened in the last hour of the Oscars, which was apparently quite a bit. Or at least more than what happened in the first 2.5 hours. When Jennifer Lawrence falling up the stairs on her way to the stage is the highlight of the evening, you know there are some problems.
So, how does one make the 2014 Oscars something people will actually want to watch? Here are my three tips:
1. Do not ask Kristen Stewart to present.
Or be part of the show in any capacity. Do not even turn the camera in her direction. I know, that’s harsh. But I have never seen an actor look upon their craft with such disdain. It’s not that she is turning her nose up at everyone, but it’s as though she believes she has something better to do than to show up at award shows or premiers. If that’s the case, maybe consider a different career.
Her attitude and awkwardness was interesting at first, like five years ago. Now it’s just annoying. Please stop asking her to do these things! Give the opportunity to someone who actually looks like they want to be there.
2. Avoid the “David & Goliath” moments.
I’m not speaking figuratively here. I mean the literal “David & Goliath” moments. I love Kristen Chenoweth. I think she is adorable and definitely puts on a good musical number. But having this 4’11” woman, who probably ways a whopping 90 pounds, stand next to…well, anyone, is just distasteful. I’m 5’1″ and I would feel like a giant next to her. Then you pair her up with Adelle or Queen Latifah? I couldn’t even focus on what either one was saying because the sight of them next to Kristen was just ridiculous! I know it was cute when she and Trace Adkins hosted a show together. Their height difference was kind of the point. But it was just distracting when she was interviewing other women on the Red Carpet.
3. Let’s just do away with hosts.
I’m still on the fence on whether or not I liked Seth McFarlane as the host last night. He had some good moments and then some awkward moments. But that’s how it goes with most hosts. The bigger problem is that I think these hosts use up time on the show that could be used for acceptance speeches or maybe make the show not go 3.5+ hours. I just don’t think they “add” anything to the show.
Sure, you could still do funny bits at the beginning and end but just hire those actors to be part of those. Then, use a voice over to introduce the presenters. Cut out the awkward comedy bits the host tries to do when announcing a presenter. It doesn’t need to be there. I know other award shows have gone sans-host and I think it just works so much better. Let’s face it, we’er not necessarily tuning in to the Oscars to see the host. We want to see the dresses and someone trip up the stairs.