2013 04/06

I speaka da english

I am mono-lingual. I speak one language — English. Sure, I took 2 years of French in high school where I learned to count to 20 and speak just enough to completely irritate any French or French-Canadian I come across.

I also took 2 years of Latin in college. But, since Latin is a dead language, I’m pretty sure I’m not going to be conversing in Latin anytime soon. Actually, I probably couldn’t even speak an entire sentence in Latin. After all, it was college. And, although I’ve never had any formal training, I can confidently slaughter two sentences in Spanish and count to 10 (thanks to Sesame Street).

It’s not that I don’t want to speak another language. I actually love other languages. Or maybe I love accents. Either way, I’d love to learn Italian some day (Life List). In the mean time, I’ll embrace the English language.

Well, I should say that I used to embrace the English language. Lately, I’ve been cursing it!

With Abbi full swing into reading, constantly learning new spelling words and wanting to write her own stories and Zoe in the beginning stages of reading, I want to shove ice picks into my eye balls! Seriously! Then I want to use those ice picks to beat whoever decided to make up all of these ridiculous grammar rules.

I before “e” except after “c”. Silent “k” when paired with “n”. Silent “e”. Sometimes “y”. Ugh!!!

Why on earth does the “o” sound one way in “so” and another way in “to” or “do”? Shouldn’t they all sound the same? Nope! Instead I get to correct my kids time and time again and then try to explain why.

It’s maddening!

I read the fabulous stories Abbi writes (stupid silent “w”) and the way she spells makes complete sense! She spells the way things should (stupid silent “l”) sound. They way they should be spelled. Phonetics (stupid “ph” pretending to be “f”) make sense.

Just think about all those words out there that should sound one way but don’t for some unknown reason. Say the word “FOOD”. Now add an “L” after the “F” and you have “FLOOD”. What is it about that “L” that completely changes the “OOD” sound? Anyone?

So I’ve decided that after the Zombie-Apocalypse happens and we create all these little colonies (kind of like the show Revolution), my colony is going to spell things they way they make sense! Oh yes! “FLOOD” will be spelled “FLUD” because it rhymes with “DUD” and “MUD”. (And “rhymes” will now read “rimes”.)

Yes, I’ve totally given this way too much thought!

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  • Yes, thank you! We’ve been going through the same things this year and sometimes I just have to tell Michaela there is absolutely no reason why certain words are spelled so ‘strangely.’ Since I am homeschooling her this sometimes feels like a teaching fail, but mostly I just blame the English language for being so convoluted.

  • Yeah-totally annoying. I want to rip my hair out sometimes with some of these nonsense rules. When it clicks though, it is amazing. :) In the meantime, I will have bald patches.

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