From the minute we try to conceive or choose to adopt a child, we are making decisions that will affect that other life. Decisions for the short term and decisions that will affect the rest of their lives.
It’s a heavy burden to handle as a parent. Because every decision has an outcome. And we do our best to make sure that outcome is the best possible for our kids. But we don’t always know. That’s the tricky part.
We do our best and then pray that God will fill in the gaps where we fall short.
When we decided to sell our condo in 2008 in the effort to move our growing family to a bigger home with a yard, we had no idea the long road we had ahead of us. I never, in a million years, wanted to be moving my kids from house to condo to house to house. And I questioned it every time we did it. How would the kids adjust? Would they adjust? They did, of course, because they are awesome like that. But not without some struggles.
With every upcoming move, Abbi would tell me “Mom, I don’t want to move. I like this place. I like these friends.” Followed by tears.
It broke my heart. She doesn’t like change. She likes to keep things constant and predictable. And I get that. Am I totally messing this kid up with all this moving and uncertainty?
Then we found this house and decided to make the move. Hoping it would be the right decision for our family. Of course our decision was met with tears and hesitation from the 7 year old.
Then, about a week and a half after moving in, Abbi said to me as we drove down the driveway coming home, “Mom, it’s kind of weird….I feel like we’ve lived here for a long time but I know it’s only been a few days.”
“Is that good or bad?” I asked.
“Good,” she said with a half smile. “I feel really comfortable here. I liked the condo and other houses but this one really feels like our home.”
And there it was. The rainbow after the storm.
I don’t know if all those other decisions were right but I know this one was.
Sometimes, as parents, we do win.