I know I technically started this relationship. I pursued you. I told you I wanted more and you were happy to oblige.
But now I’m having second thoughts. Lives change. It gets busier. I just don’t have the time to give you anymore. It’s not that you did anything “wrong”.
Ok, that’s a little bit of a lie. You did do something “wrong”. You got needy. Like borderline obsessive needy. We both knew this was not an exclusive relationship but it seems that those other relationships are also very needy. Annoyingly needy.
So, we’re breaking up. Or I’m breaking up.
With all of you.
I am unsubscribing! Literally unsubscribing!
When I wake up each morning to 65+ emails from companies and businesses and places I’ve never even heard of wanting me to shop their deals, don’t miss out!, we’ve got an offer just for you…And you’re sending those emails to me multiple times a day or week? That’s when I need to call it quits.
It’s exhausting deleting all those emails so I’m just unsubscribing to them all. I’m really sorry if your company is great or your product is amazing, but I’m unsubscribing from you.
I only want to get emails from real people. And Old Navy. Oh, and Zulily. Yeah, I’m a sucker for both of them.
The rest of you, this is where I bid you adieu. Farewell. Vaya con dios. So long. Cheerio. I’d love to say I will miss you,
But I won’t.